Glossary

Abuse

Any action that intentionally causes harm or trauma to another living being. When discussing intimate partner abuse, it’s important to note that a person is abusive — not the relationship. The phrase “abusive relationship” can imply shared responsibility. Instead, say that a person is in a relationship with an abuser.
[Read more about why language matters →]

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

Potentially traumatic events that occur from birth through age 17. The more ACEs a person experiences, the higher their risk of chronic health problems, mental health struggles, and domestic violence — either as a survivor or perpetrator — in adulthood.
[Learn your ACE score →]

Advocate

An individual who supports survivors by offering information, resources, and emotional presence. Advocates work in shelters, Family Justice Centers, courts, social services, and the military, and may accompany survivors during court hearings or safety planning.

Battered Woman / Battered Woman Syndrome

Terms from the 1970s used to describe survivors of abuse and their psychological responses, similar to PTSD. These phrases are now largely replaced by “survivor” to be more empowering, though some shelters still use the term “battered women’s shelter.”

Bystander Intervention

Actions taken by a witness to prevent or stop abuse. This may include safely interrupting an abusive incident, offering support to the victim afterward, or reporting the behavior to authorities.

Child Abuse

Failure to adequately care for a child resulting in physical, emotional, or sexual harm or exploitation. Studies show that 30–60% of abusers who harm a partner also abuse children in the home.

Child Custody

Determines where a child lives (physical custody) and who can make major decisions (legal custody). After abuse, custody disputes can become a tool for post-separation legal abuse.

Childhood Domestic Violence (CDV)

Describes children who grow up witnessing or experiencing domestic abuse. CDV can lead to lifelong mental and physical health challenges without proper intervention.

Choking vs. Strangulation

“Choking” refers to an object blocking someone’s airway. “Strangulation” is when another person restricts someone’s airflow — an extremely dangerous form of abuse and a major predictor of future homicide.

Coercive Control

A pattern of domination where an abuser isolates, stalks, intimidates, or otherwise limits a partner’s freedom. Present in nearly all cases of domestic abuse.

Cottage Industry

In the context of domestic violence, this term refers to a small group of professionals who may work together to manipulate outcomes, such as skewing judicial rulings, in their favor.

Custody Evaluation / Parenting Evaluation

A formal assessment ordered by the court in contested custody cases. A trained mental health professional interviews parents, children, and other relevant individuals, then provides recommendations to the court about custody and visitation.

Cyberstalking

Harassment, stalking, or threats carried out via technology; often social media, email, or GPS tracking. Young people are especially vulnerable.

DARVO

A common abuse pattern: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. Abusers use DARVO to avoid accountability and make survivors look like the aggressor.

Dating Violence / Teen Dating Violence

Abuse occurring between dating partners. The most common age of first experience is 18–24, followed by 11–17. Teaching teens healthy relationship skills is key prevention.

Domestic Violence / Intimate Partner Violence (IPV)

A repeated pattern of behaviors used to gain or maintain power and control over a partner. IPV can be emotional, financial, psychological, sexual, or physical.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM)

Observed every October since 1987, this campaign raises awareness, honors survivors, and remembers lives lost.

Elder Abuse

Mistreatment of adults over 60, including physical, sexual, emotional, or psychological harm, neglect, abandonment, or financial exploitation.

Emotional / Verbal Abuse

Manipulating, humiliating, or tearing down a survivor’s self-esteem through insults, mind games, or gaslighting. Often leaves survivors “walking on eggshells.”

Family Justice Centers

One-stop locations where survivors can access legal help, shelter referrals, counseling, parenting support, and law enforcement assistance under one roof.

Financial Abuse

Controlling or sabotaging a survivor’s access to money or resources, from forbidding work to stealing income or ruining credit, as a means of control.

Gaslighting

A manipulation tactic that makes survivors doubt their memory, instincts, or reality. Named after the 1938 play Gas Light.

Guardian ad Litem (GAL)

A person appointed by the court to represent the best interests of a child during custody disputes or abuse cases. GALs investigate, interview family members, and make recommendations to the judge.

Grooming

Predatory behavior where abusers build trust and emotional bonds with victims (often youth) to lower defenses before exploitation.

High-Conflict Personality (HCP)

A term describing individuals who create ongoing conflict, often displaying traits of narcissistic, borderline, or antisocial personality disorders. HCPs escalate disputes and may use court systems to manipulate, harass, or control their target.

Hope Score / Science of Hope

A research-based measurement that evaluates a person’s sense of hope and predicts their ability to heal after trauma. Developed by psychologist C.R. “Rick” Synder, PhD, in the early 1990s.

Human Trafficking

The exploitation of individuals for forced labor or sexual slavery. Abusers may groom victims to believe they are in a relationship before exploiting them.

Intimate Partner Homicide

The murder of a current or former partner. Often preceded by escalating abuse, stalking, and threats — strangulation and firearm access are major predictors.

Isolation

An abuser’s tactic to cut off a survivor from friends, family, and resources, making them easier to control.

Joint Custody 

A legal arrangement where both parents share decision-making responsibilities (legal custody) and/or physical time with their child. In abuse cases, joint custody can be unsafe, and survivors may need to request modified parenting plans to protect children.

Kidnapping (Parental) 

When one parent takes, hides, or keeps a child in violation of an existing custody order. Sometimes called custodial interference. Survivors may face false accusations of kidnapping when they flee for safety; legal advice is crucial.

Lethality Assessment

A screening tool used by law enforcement and advocates to measure a survivor’s risk for serious harm or homicide based on known risk factors.

Legal Abuse / Paper Abuse

The deliberate misuse of legal systems by an abuser to intimidate, exhaust, and financially drain the survivor.

Mandated Reporter

A person legally required to report suspected abuse — often teachers, doctors, social workers, or law enforcement.

No-Contact Order

A type of protective order that prohibits all forms of contact from the abuser, including in person, phone, online, or through third parties.

OVW / Office on Violence Against Women

A federal office established in 1994 along with the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA). It strengthens services nationwide for survivors of domestic violence, dating violence, and sexual assault.

Parental Alienation (Weaponized)

When used by abusers in court, this term is often a false claim meant to punish the protective parent and gain custody as a form of control.

Perpetrator

Another term for the abuser. In legal proceedings, this is the defendant— the person accused of a crime.

Physical Abuse

Any violent or non-consensual physical contact used to intimidate, control, or harm.

Polyvictimization

Experiencing multiple types of trauma (physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, bullying, etc.), often at the hands of multiple perpetrators.

Post-Separation Abuse

Abuse that continues after a survivor leaves — often through stalking, financial control, custody battles, and legal harassment.

Power and Control

The root of abusive behavior. Abusers use intimidation, threats, coercion, and other tactics to dominate and force compliance.

Power and Control Wheel

A widely recognized tool that visually shows the tactics abusers use to maintain control over their partner.

Protective Parent

The non-abusive parent seeking to shield children from harm and keep them safe during or after separation.

Protection Order

A court order meant to stop violent or harassing behavior, often free to file and renewable for longer-term protection.

Quid Pro Quo Sexual Harassment 

A form of abuse where someone in power demands sexual favors in exchange for something (housing, a job, custody agreement, etc.). Survivors may experience this from landlords, bosses, or even within the justice system.

Reproductive Coercion

When an abuser manipulates or forces pregnancy decisions without consent — through deception, threats, or sabotage.

Safety Plan

A personalized, step-by-step plan to keep survivors and children safe in various scenarios. Safety plans are living documents that should be updated regularly.
[Download our DIY Safety Plan Worksheet →]

Sexual Abuse / Sexual Coercion

Any unwanted sexual contact obtained by force, manipulation, or when the victim is unable to consent.

Short-Term / Transitional Housing

Temporary housing arranged after emergency shelter stay, often coordinated by advocates or nonprofits, allowing survivors time to secure longer-term stability.

Spiritual / Religious Abuse

When an abuser uses religion to justify abuse, shame survivors, or prevent them from practicing their faith.

Stalking

Following, monitoring, or surveilling a partner to induce fear or control. Can be in person or online.

Strangulation

Restricting someone’s ability to breathe by applying pressure to their neck. A major predictor of future homicide and cause of traumatic brain injury.

Survivor

An empowering term for someone experiencing or recovering from abuse.

Trauma Bonding / Trauma Bond

An emotional attachment survivors can feel toward an abuser, often keeping them trapped in the relationship.

Trauma-Informed Care / Practice

An approach to support that recognizes the effects of trauma, prioritizes survivor safety, and seeks to avoid re-traumatization.

Trauma-Informed Judge / Court

A court trained to recognize trauma responses (flat affect, nervousness, memory gaps) and make decisions that account for survivor experience.

UCCJEA (Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act) 

A federal law adopted by most states that determines which state’s court has authority over child custody cases. Includes emergency exceptions for domestic violence situations.

Undue Influence 

Psychological manipulation where an abuser pressures a survivor to act against their own best interests, often used in financial abuse or coercive control.

Victim Blaming

Holding a survivor partially or fully responsible for the abuse they experienced, which silences victims and enables abusers.

Victim / Victim-Survivor

An alternate term for a survivor of domestic violence. “Victim” may also refer to someone who has been killed by an abuser.

Violence Against Women Act (VAWA)

U.S. federal law passed in 1994 providing funding and legal protections for survivors of DV, dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking.

Witness Intimidation 

Threatening or coercing a survivor, child, or other witness to stop them from testifying, reporting, or cooperating with law enforcement.

Workplace Protections 

Laws that allow survivors to take time off, change shifts, or request safety accommodations at work after experiencing abuse or stalking.

Xenophobia and Abuse 

When an abuser exploits a survivor’s immigration status or fear of discrimination as a tool of coercion and control (e.g., threatening deportation).

Youth Advocacy 

Programs or professionals dedicated to supporting children and teens exposed to domestic violence, ensuring they receive counseling, legal protections, and safe environments.

Youth Dating Abuse 

Violence or coercion in adolescent relationships, including emotional abuse, digital harassment, and stalking.

Zero-Tolerance Policy 

A strict stance by schools, workplaces, or communities that certain behaviors (violence, threats, harassment) will result in immediate action, such as suspension, termination, or police involvement.