Research shows a shocking truth: 99% of domestic violence cases include financial control (National Network to End Domestic Violence, 2019). This means that nearly every person who experiences domestic violence also faces someone controlling their money, work, or economic choices.

If you are reading this article, you might be wondering if what you're experiencing counts as financial control. Maybe someone in your life makes all the money decisions. Maybe you feel like you can't spend money without permission. Maybe you're not allowed to work or someone interferes with your job.

These experiences matter, and they are more common than you might think. This statistic of 99% shows that financial control is not a rare problem or something that only happens to certain types of people. It happens across all communities, income levels, and relationship types.

Understanding this information can help you recognize patterns in your own life or in the lives of people you care about. Most importantly, knowing that financial control is a recognized form of abuse can help you understand that you deserve support and that help is available.

This article will explain what this 99% statistic really means, how financial control works, and what you can do if you recognize these patterns in your life.

The 99% Statistic Explained

Where This Number Comes From

The 99% statistic comes from research conducted by the National Network to End Domestic Violence, which surveyed domestic violence programs across the United States. This research looked at thousands of cases where people sought help for domestic violence.

What researchers found:

• 99% of survivors reported that their abusers used money as a way to control them
• Financial control appeared in relationships with physical violence, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse
• Economic abuse often started early in relationships, sometimes even before other types of abuse
• Financial control frequently continued even after other forms of abuse stopped

How the research was conducted:

• Surveys were completed by domestic violence advocates working directly with survivors
• Data was collected from urban, suburban, and rural communities
• The study included people from different racial, ethnic, and economic backgrounds
• Researchers looked at both current abuse situations and experiences survivors remembered from past relationships

What This Statistic Really Means

When we say 99% of abuse cases include financial control, this means:

Financial control is not separate from other abuse: Money control doesn't happen instead of other types of abuse. It happens alongside emotional, physical, and sexual abuse as part of an overall pattern of control.

Financial abuse is a tool used to enable other abuse: When someone controls your money, it becomes much harder to leave an abusive situation, get help, or maintain independence.

This pattern is predictable: The high percentage shows that financial control is not random or accidental. Abusers deliberately use money as a weapon because it works to maintain control.

It affects people at all income levels: Financial control happens whether couples have lots of money or very little money. Having more or less money doesn't protect someone from this type of abuse.

It's not about financial skills: This isn't about someone being "bad with money" or needing help with budgeting. This is about one person deliberately using money to control another person.

Why This Number Is So High

Money controls basic survival: Everyone needs money for housing, food, transportation, and medical care. When someone controls your access to money, they control your ability to meet basic needs.

Financial control prevents escape: If you can't access money, you can't leave an abusive situation, even if you want to. This makes financial control an effective tool for maintaining power over someone.

It's often invisible to others: Financial control can look like normal relationship dynamics to people who don't understand abuse. This allows it to continue without outside intervention.

It doesn't require physical violence: Someone can control your entire life through money without ever hitting you. This makes financial control appealing to abusers who want to avoid legal consequences.

It creates long-term damage: Financial abuse can destroy credit, create debt, and damage someone's ability to work. These effects can last for years, even after the relationship ends.

The Spectrum of Financial Control

Financial control exists on a spectrum from subtle manipulation to complete economic imprisonment. Understanding this spectrum can help you recognize where your situation falls and what kinds of help might be most useful.

Subtle Control: Early Warning Signs

Financial control often starts with behaviors that might seem caring or helpful:

Showing excessive interest in your finances:

• Asking detailed questions about your income, spending, or debts very early in the relationship
• Wanting to know about your financial history, credit score, or bank accounts
• Expressing strong opinions about your financial decisions when you haven't asked for advice

Offering to "help" with money management:

• Suggesting they should handle bill paying because they're "better with money"
• Volunteering to manage your accounts to "reduce your stress"
• Insisting on seeing your bank statements or credit reports to "help you improve"

Creating financial obligations:

• Paying for expensive gifts or trips that make you feel like you owe them
• Insisting on paying for things and then making you feel guilty about the expense
• Loaning you money and then using that debt to influence your decisions

Gradual isolation from financial independence:

• Suggesting you don't need to work because they can support you
• Encouraging you to quit jobs or drop out of school for relationship reasons
• Making it difficult to maintain employment through constant interruptions or demands

Testing your boundaries around money:

• Making small purchases with your money without asking
• Pressuring you to make financial decisions quickly without time to think
• Getting upset when you want to spend money on yourself or others

Moderate Control: Escalating Restrictions

As financial control increases, the restrictions become more obvious:

Direct control over spending:

• Requiring you to ask permission for purchases over a certain amount
• Giving you an "allowance" for household expenses
• Monitoring all purchases and demanding explanations for spending
• Returning or canceling purchases you make without permission

Interference with work and income:

• Calling your workplace frequently or showing up uninvited
• Creating emergencies or problems that make you miss work
• Discouraging promotions, training, or career development opportunities
• Demanding you turn over paychecks or direct deposit into accounts they control

Control over major financial decisions:

• Making decisions about housing, transportation, or insurance without your input
• Opening or closing bank accounts without discussing it with you
• Taking out loans or credit cards in your name
• Refusing to put your name on important accounts or property

Limited access to financial information:

• Keeping financial documents and passwords secret from you
• Refusing to show you bank statements, bills, or tax returns
• Making you dependent on them for information about your shared finances
• Handling all communication with banks, creditors, or financial institutions

Severe Control: Economic Imprisonment

At the most extreme level, financial control becomes complete economic dependency:

Total control over all money:

• You have no access to bank accounts, credit cards, or cash
• All income goes directly to accounts you cannot access
• You must ask for money for basic needs like food, medicine, or transportation
• Your requests for money are often denied or used to humiliate you

Complete prevention of economic independence:

• You are forbidden from working or repeatedly sabotaged at work until you lose jobs
• Educational opportunities are completely blocked
• You have no access to transportation that would allow independent employment
• Any money you receive from family, friends, or government benefits is immediately taken

Financial identity theft and destruction:

• Credit cards and loans are opened in your name without permission
• Your credit is deliberately destroyed through missed payments or maxed-out accounts
• Tax returns are filed fraudulently using your information
• Your identity is used for financial fraud that becomes your legal responsibility

Use of financial control to enable other abuse:

• Money is withheld to prevent you from leaving the house or seeing other people
• Financial stress is used to justify other controlling or abusive behaviors
• You are threatened with financial ruin if you try to leave or seek help
• Children's needs are used as leverage to maintain financial control

Why Abusers Target Money and Resources

Money Represents Power and Freedom

Basic survival needs: Money provides access to food, shelter, medical care, and transportation. When someone controls your money, they control your ability to survive independently.

Freedom of choice: Having money means you can make choices about where to live, what to eat, how to spend your time, and who to see. Financial control eliminates these choices.

Self-determination: Economic independence allows you to make decisions based on your own values and goals. Without financial independence, you must make decisions based on what the controlling person will allow.

Social connections: Money enables social activities, transportation to see friends and family, and communication tools like phones. Financial control isolates you from support systems.

Future planning: Having control over money allows you to plan for the future, pursue education or career goals, and build long-term security. Financial control keeps you focused only on immediate survival.

Creating Dependency to Prevent Leaving

Practical barriers to leaving: Without access to money, leaving an abusive relationship becomes practically impossible. You cannot afford housing, transportation, food, or other basic needs.

Fear of financial ruin: Abusers often threaten that leaving will result in financial destruction, homelessness, or poverty. Even when these threats are not entirely true, they create powerful fear.

Responsibility for others: If you have children, elderly parents, or other dependents, financial control makes it seem impossible to leave without harming people you care about.

Damaged credit and employment: Financial abuse often destroys credit scores and employment history, making it seem impossible to rebuild financial independence.

Legal and practical complications: Joint debts, shared property, and financial entanglements can make leaving feel legally and practically overwhelming.

Isolation Through Financial Stress

Shame about money problems: Financial abuse creates situations that feel embarrassing or shameful, making it difficult to reach out to friends and family for help.

Inability to participate in social activities: Without money for transportation, meals out, or social activities, maintaining friendships becomes difficult.

Constant crisis management: Financial stress and uncertainty make it difficult to maintain energy for relationships or activities outside the home.

Geographic isolation: Financial control often includes control over transportation, making it difficult to maintain connections with people outside the immediate area.

Communication barriers: Without money for phones, internet, or transportation, staying in touch with support systems becomes difficult or impossible.

The Psychology Behind Financial Control

Abuser Mindset and Motivations

Need for power and control: Abusers are motivated by a desire to have complete power over another person. Money is one of the most effective tools for maintaining this control.

Entitlement to control: Many abusers believe they have the right to control their partner's life, including financial decisions. They may see this as natural or justified.

Fear of abandonment: Some abusers use financial control because they fear their partner will leave. They believe that creating financial dependency will prevent abandonment.

Jealousy and possessiveness: Financial control can stem from jealousy about your relationships with others or possessiveness about your time and attention.

Learned behavior: Some abusers learned controlling behaviors from their own families or communities where financial control was normalized.

Strategic thinking: Many abusers deliberately plan financial control as a strategy. They understand that controlling money is an effective way to control someone's entire life.

How Victims Internalize Financial Shame

Self-blame for financial problems: Victims often blame themselves for the financial difficulties created by abuse, thinking they should have been smarter or more careful.

Shame about dependency: Being financially dependent on someone else can feel shameful, especially in cultures that value financial independence.

Internalized criticism: Constant criticism about spending, money management, or financial decisions can make victims believe they are actually bad with money.

Learned helplessness: Over time, being prevented from making financial decisions can make people lose confidence in their ability to handle money independently.

Identity confusion: When someone else controls all your financial choices, you may lose touch with your own preferences, values, and goals.

Fear of making mistakes: After experiencing criticism and control, making any financial decision can feel scary and overwhelming.

Trauma Bonding Through Financial "Rescue"

Creating crisis and providing relief: Abusers often create financial crises and then "rescue" you from them, creating a sense of gratitude and dependency.

Intermittent reinforcement: Occasionally allowing financial freedom or providing generous gifts creates a powerful psychological bond.

Positioning themselves as protector: Abusers often present financial control as protection, making you feel like you need them to survive financially.

Creating artificial intimacy: Sharing financial information and making financial decisions together can feel like intimacy, even when it's actually control.

Exploiting gratitude: When abusers provide financial support, they often demand gratitude and use this to justify further control.

Recognizing Control in Your Situation

Self-Assessment Questions

About decision-making:

• Do you feel free to make purchases without asking permission?
• Are you involved in major financial decisions that affect your life?
• Do you have access to information about your household's financial situation?
• Can you spend money on yourself without feeling guilty or fearful?

About access and independence:

• Do you have access to bank accounts, credit cards, or cash when you need them?
• Are you able to work or pursue education without interference?
• Can you see friends or family without worrying about money for transportation or activities?
• Do you have any money that is only yours to control?

About respect and communication:

• Are disagreements about money handled with respect and compromise?
• Do you feel heard when you express opinions about financial decisions?
• Are you treated as an equal partner in financial planning?
• Do you feel safe expressing different opinions about money?

About pressure and control:

• Do you feel pressure to account for every dollar you spend?
• Are you criticized or punished for financial decisions?
• Does anyone threaten you with financial consequences for your behavior?
• Do you feel like you're walking on eggshells around money topics?

Warning Signs Across Different Relationship Stages

Early relationship (first few months):

• Excessive interest in your financial situation
• Pressure to combine finances quickly
• Offers to pay for everything followed by guilt about expenses
• Strong opinions about your spending without being asked
• Discouraging your work or education plans

Established relationship (6 months to 2 years):

• Gradual reduction in your access to accounts or spending money
• Increased monitoring of purchases and criticism of spending
• Interference with work through calls, visits, or created emergencies
• Taking control of bill paying and financial management
• Isolating you from family and friends through financial restrictions

Long-term relationship (2+ years):

• Complete control over household finances
• Prevention of employment or sabotage of work opportunities
• Use of children's needs to justify financial control
• Threats about financial consequences if you don't comply
• Opening accounts or taking debt in your name without permission

Special Considerations for Different Life Circumstances

For people with disabilities:

• Control over disability benefits or support services
• Using disability as an excuse for financial control
• Preventing access to assistive technology or accommodations
• Interfering with medical care or equipment

For immigrants:

• Using immigration status to threaten financial consequences
• Controlling documents needed for work authorization
• Preventing English language learning that would enable employment
• Threatening to report immigration status if you seek financial independence

For older adults:

• Adult children or caregivers taking control of finances
• Pressure to change wills, property ownership, or beneficiaries
• Isolation from financial advisors or other support systems
• Using health needs as justification for financial control

For parents:

• Using children's needs to justify complete financial control
• Threatening to take children away if you leave
• Preventing work by refusing to provide or pay for childcare
• Using children's activities or needs to monitor your spending

For LGBTQ+ individuals:

• Threatening to "out" you if you seek financial independence
• Using discrimination fears to prevent employment
• Controlling transition-related medical expenses
• Isolating you from LGBTQ+ community through financial restrictions

You're Not Alone: Stories of Survival

Maria's Story: Recognizing Gradual Control

Maria's partner started by offering to help manage their joint expenses. At first, it felt caring when he took over bill paying and budgeting. Gradually, she realized she had to ask permission for every purchase, even groceries. When she tried to return to work, he created emergencies that made her miss shifts until she lost her job.

What helped Maria:

• Recognizing that financial control is abuse
• Calling the domestic violence hotline for support
• Working with an advocate to create a safety plan
• Slowly saving small amounts of cash when possible
• Building a support network through online domestic violence support groups

Maria's advice: "I thought financial abuse meant someone stealing money from you. I didn't know that controlling money is also abuse. Once I understood that, I could start planning to get help."

James's Story: Breaking Free from Economic Control

James's partner convinced him to put all their property in her name "for tax reasons." She controlled all accounts and gave him a small weekly allowance. When he wanted to visit his family, she refused to give him money for transportation. She monitored every purchase and criticized him constantly for spending.

What helped James:

• Individual therapy to understand that his situation was abusive
• Legal aid assistance to understand his rights to shared property
• Job training program specifically for domestic violence survivors
• Support group for male survivors of domestic violence
• Financial counseling to rebuild credit and independence

James's advice: "I felt like no one would believe that a woman was financially abusing a man. But when I called the hotline, they took me seriously and helped me find resources."

Alex's Story: Escaping Family Financial Control

Alex's parents controlled all their finances into adulthood, claiming that Alex's autism meant they couldn't handle money independently. Their parents monitored all purchases, prevented employment, and threatened to cut off support if Alex tried to become independent.

What helped Alex:

• Disability rights advocates who understood financial abuse
• Supported employment services that helped with job skills and workplace accommodations
• Financial literacy classes designed for people with disabilities
• Therapy to build confidence in financial decision-making
• Legal advocacy to establish financial independence

Alex's advice: "People used my disability as an excuse to control my money. But having a disability doesn't mean someone else should control your life. Everyone deserves financial independence."

Common Themes in Recovery

Recognition takes time: Most survivors don't immediately recognize financial control as abuse. Understanding that these behaviors are not normal or acceptable is often the first step.

Support makes the difference: Having people who understand and believe your experience is crucial for recovery. This might include professional advocates, therapists, support groups, or understanding friends and family.

Safety planning is essential: Leaving financial control requires careful planning to ensure safety and to address practical needs like housing, income, and legal protection.

Recovery is possible but takes time: Building financial independence after abuse is a process that can take months or years. Having patience with yourself and celebrating small victories is important.

Helping others helps healing: Many survivors find that sharing their stories and helping other people in similar situations becomes part of their own healing process.

Taking the First Step

If You Think You Might Be Experiencing Financial Control

Trust your instincts: If something feels wrong about how money is handled in your relationship, that feeling matters. You don't need to have proof or be completely certain to seek information and support.

Start with information gathering:

• Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) to talk through your situation confidentially
• Use online resources like TheHotline.org to learn more about financial abuse
• Read about financial abuse to better understand your experiences

Document your situation safely:

• Keep records of financial control incidents if you can do so safely
• Take photos of important financial documents when the controlling person isn't around
• Use public computers or phones to research resources and support options

Reach out for support:

• Consider individual counseling with someone who understands domestic violence
• Connect with one trusted person who could provide emotional support
• Look into support groups for people experiencing abuse

Immediate Safety Resources

If you're in immediate danger:

• Call 911 if you're in physical danger
• Go to a hospital emergency room if you need immediate safety
• Contact local police if someone is threatening you

For immediate support and information:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (24/7, free, confidential)
• Crisis Text Line: Text START to 88788
• Online chat support: TheHotline.org
• TTY for hearing impaired: 1-800-787-3224

For specific help with financial abuse:

• National Foundation for Credit Counseling: 1-800-388-2227
• Legal Aid Society (find local help at LawHelp.org)
• Benefits assistance: Local social services departments
• Employment help: Local workforce development centers

Building Support Networks

Professional support:

• Domestic violence advocates who understand financial abuse
• Therapists or counselors experienced with abuse survivors
• Legal aid attorneys who can explain your rights
• Financial counselors who work with abuse survivors

Personal support:

• One trusted friend or family member who can provide emotional support
• Support groups for domestic violence survivors
• Online communities for people experiencing abuse
• Faith communities or cultural organizations that understand abuse

Practical support:

• People who could provide emergency housing if needed
• Transportation assistance for getting to work or appointments
• Childcare help if you have children
• Help with job searching or building work skills

Creating a Safety Plan

Immediate safety considerations:

• Safe places you could go if you needed to leave quickly
• Important phone numbers memorized or hidden securely
• Emergency money hidden in a place the controlling person can't access
• Important documents stored somewhere safe

Financial safety planning:

• Understanding what accounts, debts, and property exist in your name
• Knowing what benefits or income you're entitled to independently
• Planning how you could access money safely if needed
• Understanding your legal rights to shared property and resources

Communication safety:

• Safe ways to communicate with support people
• Private methods for accessing information and resources
• Plans for how to get help without the controlling person knowing
• Technology safety to protect your privacy online and on devices

Professional safety planning:

• Working with domestic violence advocates to create a detailed plan
• Understanding legal protections available to you
• Planning for housing, employment, and other practical needs
• Preparing for how the controlling person might react to your independence efforts

Special Considerations for Neurodivergent Readers

Understanding Your Unique Strengths

Attention to detail: You might notice financial patterns, discrepancies, or changes that others miss. This can be helpful in documenting financial control and understanding your situation.

Strong sense of justice: Your sense of fairness might make financial control feel especially wrong and motivate you to seek help and change.

Honesty and directness: Your straightforward communication style can be valuable when working with advocates, counselors, and other professionals.

Pattern recognition: You might be able to identify cycles of financial control and predict when certain behaviors are likely to happen.

Persistence: Once you understand that financial control is wrong, your determination can be a powerful force for creating change.

Challenges You Might Face

Communication differences: Others might misunderstand your communication style or use your differences to dismiss your concerns about financial control.

Sensory overwhelm: Financial stress and abuse can make sensory sensitivities worse, making it harder to cope with daily tasks and seek help.

Social vulnerability: If you have difficulty reading social cues, controlling people might exploit this to convince others that you need financial "management."

Routine disruption: Financial control often involves unpredictability, which can be especially distressing if you rely on routines for functioning.

Support system complexity: If you receive disability benefits or have formal support services, addressing financial control might seem more complicated.

Advocacy Strategies

Self-advocacy with professionals:

• Explain how you communicate best and what accommodations help you understand information
• Ask for written information if that helps you process decisions better
• Request extra time to make important decisions if you need it
• Bring a trusted support person to important meetings if that helps

Working with existing support services:

• Talk to case managers, therapists, or other professionals who already understand your needs
• Explain how financial control affects your daily functioning and independence
• Ask for help coordinating between different service providers

Building financial skills:

• Look for financial education programs designed for people with disabilities
• Practice financial skills in supportive, low-pressure environments
• Use online resources that match your learning style and processing needs
• Ask trusted people to explain financial concepts in ways that make sense to you

Safety planning considerations:

• Include your sensory needs and communication preferences in safety planning
• Plan for how financial stress might affect your ability to function day-to-day
• Consider how changes in routine might impact your coping abilities
• Include support people who understand your communication style and needs

Financial Abuse Cages Victims

The statistic that 99% of domestic violence cases include financial control reveals an important truth: money is one of the most common weapons used by abusers. This information can help you understand that if you're experiencing financial control, you're not alone, and what you're experiencing is a recognized form of abuse.

Financial control exists on a spectrum from subtle manipulation to complete economic imprisonment. Recognizing where your situation falls on this spectrum can help you understand what kinds of help and resources might be most useful for your situation.

Abusers use financial control because it's effective. Money controls access to basic survival needs, prevents people from leaving abusive situations, and isolates victims from support systems. Understanding why financial control is so common can help you recognize that the problem is with the abuser's choice to be controlling, not with anything you've done wrong.

If you recognize financial control in your relationship, remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Thousands of people have successfully escaped financial control and rebuilt their economic independence. With the right support and resources, recovery is possible.

Key reminders:

• Financial control is real abuse that deserves attention and response
• The 99% statistic shows that your experience is not rare or unusual
• Professional help is available specifically for financial abuse
• Recovery takes time, but it is achievable
• You deserve relationships where you feel safe and respected

For immediate help:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
• Crisis Text Line: Text START to 88788
• Online chat: TheHotline.org

Your financial independence and well-being matter. Take care of yourself, and remember that you deserve relationships where you have dignity and choice about your life decisions.

References

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